The Architect of Our Lives
I am the architect who builds without blueprints, the magician who transforms reality without touching it. I create walls that imprison and hold the key to liberation, often in the same moment. I am both the map and the territory, both the question and the answer. I turn strangers into communities and thoughts into worlds. I am the bridge between what is and what could be, and I exist only when shared. What am I?
… LANGUAGE!
In the 2012 film “A Thousand Words”, the main character’s fast-paced life as a literary agent who could sell lemon juice to a lemon takes a dramatic turn when a magical tree appears in his backyard. Every word he speaks causes a leaf to fall. The rule of the tree: once the final leaf drops, it will mark the end of his life.
His words suddenly become precious to him. He must come to terms with the reality that what he says, or doesn’t say, carries profound consequences.
The movie amplifies a truth we often forget: our words are powerful.
Imagine living as though our lives depended on every word we spoke. Well, no need to try too hard, because they do!
We create our world when we speak. Everything we say, aloud and to ourselves, is a declaration of how we show up in the world.
Building Mazes or Bridges
Think of language as the architecture that has formed the world around us.
The world we live in is comprised of the labels, judgements, requests, promises, insists and declarations we make every day.
Let’s do a quick exercise:
Think back to all the conversations you had today. Be it with colleagues, friends, family... What happened inside of those conversations?
If we take on the perspective that the words we speak create our world, what were you creating inside of your own? A maze? Bridge? Pathway?
Well, let’s look at some of the language we would use that might trap us in a maze:
‘I’m no good at…’
‘I’ can’t do that because…’
‘I would never…’
‘There is not enough time for me to…’
A world of walls is built by ‘I can’t’
We’ve just wrapped up our Éléments Experience in Morocco, and one of our participants kept declaring that "I’m just not a morning person.”
When we tell people, “I’m not a morning person”, we give ourselves permission to behave in ways that do not produce effectiveness in the morning.
And true to his word, his mornings would start by hitting snooze five times, stumbling awake and feeling like he was playing catch-up.
We gave him a challenge: to try on "I am a morning person" instead. Would it feel weird? Absolutely. Would he feel as though he was lying to himself and to other people? Yes! But only temporarily.
Why? Because our language does more than describe our reality; it invites others to stand with us in new possibilities for the future…
Choosing Expansion
To a large extent…
… We are not intentional about how we speak to and about ourselves and how we communicate with others.
We recycle words and phrases as passive descriptors. ‘This is the way the world is, the way the world goes around or how the cookie crumbles.’
If we know our words are active agents shaping our future, why would we choose them without intention? Because our brains love taking the “easy way out” or at least what seems easy!
Default language produces unintentional, “luck of the draw” outcomes. As an alternative, we can choose to adopt more expansive language.
Testament to the power of our words are leaders from all over the globe and all walks of life who have used language to create movements. Nelson Mandela, John Lewis, Dorothy Day, Martin Luther King Jr., Winston Churchill; these are all humans we consider to be change-makers, remembered for how they used their words to dismantle systems and inspire justice.
Consider Malala Yousafzai's story. As a young girl in Pakistan, the Taliban banned girls' education in her region. She started a blog to share her experience living under these restrictions. In 2012, at just 15 years old, she was shot by a Taliban gunman while riding the school bus home.
"We realize the importance of our voices only when we are silenced."
She began a movement with her now famous declaration, "There are two powers in the world; one is the sword and the other is the pen,” creating a vision around education, not only as an opportunity for learning, but as a force capable of competing with war and violence.
Her courage to simply speak up inspired policy changes all over the world. She became the youngest Nobel Peace Prize winner for her time. She is the embodiment of her words that "when the whole world is silent, even one voice becomes powerful."
What can we do today?
Consider these exercises:
Notice defaults. Let’s pay attention to the words that often appear in our self-talk. Write them down. Are they expansive or restrictive?
Reframe. Shift your ‘I can’t’ statements to:
‘I’m learning…’
‘I will…’
‘I am becoming someone who…”
Experiment. Speak with possibility.
‘What else could be possible?’
‘Is there something I haven’t tried yet?’
‘Who could I ask for another perspective?’
Speak it aloud. Invite others into your world!
‘I am working on…’
‘What I am creating is…’
Be a possibility contagion. Language is contagious… become a human who creates inspiring movements by speaking expansively.
This is the discipline we cultivate at Cerené. We practice the art of immersing ourselves in language that dismantles limitations, reawakens imagination and builds community.
The path to extraordinary begins here: with the simple act of choosing our words wisely.
